Kingdom Karaoke
by Strike To Incinerate
Summary: Demyx plus bored Organization XIII equals a karaoke party. Go figure. Pairings 'n crap inside. Drunk Xemnas! [Rated T for boylovin' and some swearin!]
1. LANGUAGE!

**Kingdom Karaoke**

**aka**

**"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone."**

**Chapter One - LANGUAGE.**

_Pairings: Hinted AkuRoku, XemSai, XigDem, VexDem, and VexMar._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts II or any of these songs... I do, however, own Xaldin's puns, and Xigbar's booze. The Karaoke machine belongs to Zexion._

_Inspiration: My own KH Karaoke AMV, everyone elses, and my love of Demyx. He's the greatest._

_Enjoy!_

**--**

No one in Organization XIII was crazy about the latest way to pass the time in Castle Oblivion. This was half because it was Demyx's idea, and half because Demyx was the only member of the Organization that was any good at singing.

In any case... all XIII members were packed into the Recreational Room of Eternal Procrastination, and Demyx had set up a karaoke machine with the help of Larxene. They were the only two who were going to enjoy this.

"What the Hell is that?" Roxas asked, as he watched Numbers II, III, and X drag a few large barrels and cases into the Rec Room. Xigbar actually wasn't carrying anything; his cases were levitating, thanks to his power pulling the gravity from the air around them.

"This... is quality booze from the world of Port Royal, little dude," Xigbar said with a smirk wider than Axel or Demyx could ever have managed.

"Oh..." Roxas said softly.

"Yeah, we raided a pirate ship and looted it," The Freeshooter said proudly.

"HELL YEAH!" Axel shouted, jumping up onto his chair. Only Xigbar and Luxord would raid a pirate ship... Xaldin was there just to do the heavy lifting, probably.

Where the Hell were Lexaeus and Zexion, anyways? The room wasn't that big!

Oh, wait. Hiding from Demyx. Demyx was the one neophyte that they tolerated, because of his obediance, but they weren't pleased about this karaoke night thing. Elaeus had apparently suffered from severe stage fright (weird, 'cuz he was such a big guy!) and no one knew if such phobias carried on to a Nobody. And Zexion... well, Zexion didn't like karaoke. A bunch of people singing like drunken idiots (and it looked like quite a few of them were really going to BE drunken idiots) didn't appeal to him.

"Okay? Okay! Is everyone here?" Demyx asked excitedly, speaking into a microphone.

"Yeah! We're all here, Dem!" Xigbar shouted at him... The Melodious Nocturne was standing on the small stage, which was about a meter from the Freeshooter.

"AND WE'VE GOT BOOZE!" Axel shouted.

Roxas shook his head, and much to everyone's surprise, Vexen and Xemnas made their way to one of the kegs.

"Open it. NOW," Xemnas commanded.

"Sure thing, Superior dude!" Xigbar agreed, and began tapping it.

"Okay, cool! We can get started with the first Organization Karaoke night!" Number IX exclaimed. "So, who wants to go first?"

There was silence, and then finally, Axel hopped down from his chair. He made his way towards the stage. Demyx handed the pyro the microphone and said, "Break a leg!"

Axel flipped through the tracks, the entire room silent except for the sound of 'quality booze' coming out of the keg, and then glasses clinking together as Xigbar, Xaldin and Luxord prepared to get smashed.

"Just pick one!" Larxene hissed impatiently. In her hand's, to no one surprise, was a camcorder. Or a video camera. Whatever you like calling it. Demyx calls it 'that thing that records stuff so Larxene can make me do her missions'.

"Alright, alright..." the Flurry of Dancing Flames said with a wave of his hand. The sounds of an acoustic guitar began to flow out of the surround sound system.

Axel's broad grin was now directed at Saix as he began to sing.

_"She's part girl, she's part boy. She's got parts everyone can enjoy."_

Roxas's first thought was, 'Okay... this isn't gonna end well..'

"_She's got more, she's got less. She's got her manhood tucked in her dress."_

Demyx, Marluxia and Larxene giggled, and Xigbar, Xaldin and Luxord quickly downed some more drinks so that they couldn't. Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion were bemused... and Xemnas and Saix weren't pleased.

"_Is she a mister, or is she a miss? Does she stand up when she's taking a pi--"_

"LANGUAGE, Number VIII," the Superior warned him.

_"She's my little girl, yea, she's my little guy. When I try to please I get poked in the eye."_

Larxene nearly fell out of her chair and Demyx and Marluxia were holding each other, shrieking in mirth.

_"She wears lace and she wears flannel. She watches football and the Lifetime Channel."_

"AXEL," Saix stood up, his features contorted into a face only Demyx and Xigbar had seen before... during the infamous, 'I Bet Saix Likes Pink, Too' Incident. From that day forward, Xigbar had a few new scars and a pretty eyepatch to show all of his friends! Story short, Saix does not like pink, and he has never had naughty relations with anyone other than the Superior. (xD)

_"What's that bulge under her nightie? It must be hermaphrodite!"_

Axel pantomimed playing an electric guitar, and even Roxas smiled. Saix growled audibly.

"Number VIII, get down from there, now. Drink something," Xemnas said, wondering if alcohal could set the pyro's insides aflame.

"SOMEONE ELSE SING!" Larxene yelled from the floor. Demyx and Marluxia were still reeling with laughter at the thought of Saix in dresses and nighties and LACE.

"Alright... Let's Do It!" Xigbar announced.

Demyx immediately jumped up, and accompanied Number II and the Gambler of Fate to the stage.

_"Listen up, y'all, 'cuz this is it! The beat that I'm banging is the next shi--,"_ he sang.

"LANGUAGE!" Xemnas roared, but the booze was getting to him, so it kind of sounded like, 'Lingwish'.

Demyx chimed in. _"Demi-licious definition make them boys go loco. They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo."_

Larxene hooted, and Marluxia screamed, "TAKE IT OFF!"

Xigbar glared at him.

_"You could see me, you can't squeeze me.  
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy.  
I got reasons why I tease 'em.  
Boys just come and go like seasons."_

All Axel had to say was, "What boys?"

Xaldin smiled appreciatively, and had to pun. "Buuuurned."

_"Demi-licious, so delicious!  
But I ain't promiscuous.  
And if you was suspicious,  
All that shit is fictitious."_

"There are adolescents in the room!" Xemnas shouted, but again... slurred... so they probably couldn't undershtand him.

"No, it's cool," Roxas said, enjoying the trio's performance.

"I meant Zekshion," he slurred.

Zexion had 'Death to the Drunk' written in his eye.

"_I blow kisses.  
That puts them boys on rock, rock.  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got,_" he sang.

"Two people isn't a line, Demyx," Axel commented.

"It's a bigger line than your no-people," Vexen said dryly.

Xaldin was a fan of puns. "Want some ice for that burn?"

"Hag..." the redhead muttered under his breath.

_"So delicious!"_

_"It's hot, hot!"_ Luxord sang in the background.

"_So delicious!"_ Well, Xigbar would know, wouldn't he, Axel thought.

_"I put them boys on rock, rock!"_ Well, maybe he put Xigbar on rock, ro--

_"So delicious!"_

_"They wanna taste of what I got!_" No, no one wanted a taste of what Luxord had.

_"I'm Demi-licious!"_

"Get off the stage, NOW NUMBER IX, before I turn you into a DUSK!" Xemnas threatened, feeling a massive migraine coming on.

"Hangover?" Xaldin guessed.

"Marly's turn!" Demyx said, happily jumping from the stage and into Xigbar's waiting arms.

--

**Lol, I'm having too much fun with this. I'd like to take this at least two more chapters, but I won't continue without reviews. Review meh!**


	2. Marluxia Can Get Sexual, Too!

_A/N SIX REVIEWS IN ONE DAY?!?!?!_

_I KNEW that the 'Drunk Xemnas' thing would attract people! xD_

_In case anyone wanted to watch the AMV (which doesn't have the Demi-licious in it, sorry, that was inspired by another AMV. The songs are also sung by different Organization members...) here it is! http//www. youtube. com/ watch?v Nta8D0 bKuxg Just take out the spaces._

_I'm amazed that everyone found this so funny. Wow. Alright, I'm gonna continue it... Here we go!_

**Kingdom Karaoke**

**aka**

**"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone"**

**Chapter Two - Marluxia Can Get Sexual, Too!**

_Pairings: Same as last time. No, there really isn't any MarLarx. I despise that pairing (no offense to anyone who does like it. My best friend does. She also hates VexLuxia, can you believe that?!)._

_Disclaimer: I want my very own Vexen. And a Demyx. Or just some plushies. Or some DemyxVexen boysex. Other than that... -sniffle.- I DON'T OWN._

_Warning: Major XigDemVex, Marluxia bashing, and Larxene bashing... All in good fun, though!_

_Inspiration: Same as last time, plus my reviews!_

_Enjoy!_

--

Marluxia sashayed over to the stage, 'cuz we all know he's gay like that. Especially for Demyx. Everyone is gay for Demyx. Demyx is fag-alicious.

Vexen glared at Axel as if he could read his thoughts.

Axel sat down in his seat like a good boy, then leaned over and whispered to Roxas, "I think Vexen is hot for Demyx."

Larxene tilted her chair back to look at them. "I like whispering, too!" she said in a very loud voice.

Xaldin suddenly found interest in Axel's conversation, as well. "I don't think Vexen can get hot at all..." he snickered.

"Number III! Stop punning!" Xemnas shouted as saix draped one of the Superior's arms around his shoulders so that he would become a drunken heap on the floor for all of the Xemnas fangirls to rape. Apparently, Number I was not quite through with his drunkeness. Now he was intoxicated with a premature hangover. Poor Mansex!

Xigbar fired a warning shot into the wall near Vexen's face.

"Keep your glares to yourself. Demyx isn't your little dude..." the Freeshooter said, then wrapped Demyx in a very possessive embrace.

"Alright, I'm going to sing now!" Marluxia announced into the microphone, his voice very shrill. His eyes were narrowed in a 'PAY-ATTENTION-TO-ME-NOW-OR-THE-AUTHOR'S-GOING-TO-MAKE-VERY-NOT-NICE-THINGS-HAPPEN-TO-YOU!' way.

Larxene politely clapped her hands as she returned her chair to it's original position.

And then, as the room quieted and Xigbar's guns were no longer active, the Graceful Assassin began to sing.

_"If I die and go to hell real soon,  
it will appear to me as this room,"_ he sang.

Xemnas, Saix, Lexaeus and Zexion could appreciate this sentiment. Vexen would've been enjoying this, but he was txt msg-ing someone on his new Verizon Mint Chocolate cellular phone. His plan gave free Text Messaging after nine o'clock, and since it was never day, he always had free Text Messaging!

_"And for eternity I'd lay in bed in my boxers, half stoned, with the pillow under my head."_

Axel bobbed his head to the beat of the song; he was liking it, too. Roxas was wondering just what the point was.

_"I'd be chatting on the interweb;  
maggots pray upon the living dead."_ Marluxia smirked a little; why no one knew... yet...

Xigbar and Demyx were too busy seeing who could push their tongue further down the other's throat to really care.

_"I had no interest in the things she said.  
On the phone every day,  
I'll permanently hit the hay."_

Xemnas and Saix were ready to hit the hay; well, Saix was. It wasn't often Xemnas got drunk, and he wanted to take advantage of it and maybe get his turn to be the seme! (Yeah, Saix is too pretty to be the seme. xD)

_"I called her on the phone and she touched herself,_" he sang with full conviction.

Everyone, except for Demyx and Xigbar, because it hadn't really registered with them yet, looked at Larxene.

_"She touched herself. She touched herself. I called her on the phone and she touched herself.  
I laughed myself to sleep."_

Larxene looked very angry. Demyx clung to Xigbar in fear. There were little lightning bolts shooting out from all of the electrical sockets, and if one shocked him, he was screwed.

Marluxia continued singing with no care in the world. "_At this rate,  
I'll be heading for electric chairs.  
I'm only human with my cross to bear.  
When she described her underwear I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old schul."_

"You'll be lucky to be in a chair when I'm done with you..." Larxene growled.

"Omigod. I just puked in my mouth a little bit," Axel moaned.

Roxas apathetically handed him a tissue.

"I do not want to know, Number XI, what you and Number XII do in your spare time!" Vexen said, snapping his phone shut.

"Shut it, you rotten old geezer!" Larxene snarled. "Why don't you just go have Text Message cyber-sex with Demyx!"

Xigbar's guns were out again, and Larxene had to jump into a portal to avoid all of the shots.

"I love you, Xiggy..." Demyx sighed happily.

"Wait... so it's true...?" Luxord asked. "You and Larxene...?" he blinked, confused.

Marluxia put down the microphone. "Who said I was singing about Larxene?" he said simply as he hopped off the stage.

The Luna Diviner made his way to the Karaoke machine. "I think that's about enough for one ni--"

Xemnas grabbed his hand as he went to turn it off. "Nu. Mah turn," he said, then hiccuped.

"Just don't puke on the stage, Xemnas..." Saix warned, sighing, as he helped the Superior up onto the stage.

Xemnas gave a dopey smile. "I like Aerosmith," he said as he chose his song.

_"That, that dude looks like a lady  
That, that dude looks like a lady  
That, that dude looks like a lady  
That, that dude looks like a lady..."_ he intoned, because he was too drunk/hungover to really sing without hurting his own head.

Everyone had a guess as to who their Superior was singing about, but it wasn't until Xemnas actually started pointing to Marluxia in time with the beat that it was confirmed.

Marluxia pouted.

"Well, don't sing gross songs about Larxene!" Axel huffed.

_"Cruise into a bar on the shore,  
Her picture graced the grime on the door.  
She's a long lost love at first bite.  
Baby, maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right!_" Everyone found out that Xemnas was actually very good at doing that screechy thing that Steven Tyler does during every single song, even Aerosmith's ballads.

Saix couldn't help but to chime in, _"That's right."_

Marluxia seethed.

Demyx giggled, and Xigbar found himself oddly soothed.

Luxord, Roxas, Lexaeus and Zexion were horrified by the actions of their intoxicated leader.

_"Backstage we're havin' the time of our lives until somebody say..."_

_"Forgive me if I seem out of line,"_ Saix said as Xemnas thrust the microphone in his face, thinking that they were now a duet.

"_Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!"_

Vexen was furiously text-messaging.

Marluxia pulled out his cell-phone as it began chiming, "_Sweet little bumblebee, I know what you want from me..."_

_"Never judge a book by it's cover,  
Or who you gonna love by your lover.  
Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise.  
She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise!"_

Saix was having fun now. He had a beer in one hand, still supporting the Superior, grinning ear to pointed ear.

_"Ooh, what a funky Nobody!  
Ooh, he like it, like it, like it, like that!  
Ooh, he was a tranny!"_

Roxas burst out laughing, and Axel and Xaldin spit out the alcohal that was in their mouths, coughing and chuckling simultaneously.

Marluxia was not happy to be called a 'Tranny' and have Zima spit on him.

--

**Alright, that's the end of this chapter.**

**Next Chapter: Axel gets sentimental... until Zexion finally opens his mouth.**

**Leave meh some reviews! Yar! I be a pirate!**

**Luxord and Xigbar: -glare.-**

**A super hot rockstar?**

**Demyx: -pouts.-**

**A really flamboyant gardener?**

**Marluxia: How about no?**

**An extremely intoxicated leader of a group of heartless people in black coats trying to summon up the worlds biggest paper heart?**

**Xemnas: -too busy trying to feel up Saix.-**

xD Oh, my poor, poor brain... It's kind of dead. Thanks, Squeenix and Disney.


	3. The Lamest Kingdom Hearts II Joke EVER

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Chaxra-san and RaiPhoenix015, because they have this story on ALERTS. I think that's better than having it faved. So, this chapter is dedicated to them.**

**Chaxra-san also writes some EXCELLENT Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, so you should definitely check his/her profile and read some of it.**

**And... Rai... Zexion has been mentioned quite a few times in the past two chapters. He and Lexaeus just haven't spoken because... I really couldn't find anything interesting for them to say. I was having too much fun with Xaldin's puns.**

_Also! Credit must be given to the songs!_

_Chapter One - Stephen Lynch: Hermaphrodite Fergie: Fergalicious (Demyx Remix by moi!)_

_Chapter Two - Aerosmith: Dude Looks Like a Lady (Marluxia Remix)  
Say Anything: Wow, I Can Get Sexual, Too!_

_Chapter Three - IT'S A SURPRISE!_

**Kingdom Karaoke**

**aka**

**"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone"**

**Chapter Three - The Lamest Kingdom Hearts II Joke EVER.**

_Pairings: XigDemVexMar, ManSaix, AkuRoku..._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing! NOTHING, I SAY! I still want a Demyx and a Vexen, though. WANT, people, so no suing! I always want what I can't have (which is why most of my fanfiction has no reviews)._

_Warning: Um... Axel's about to get seriously scary... considering my love of FFTL, I had to put some in here... I just said sentimental at the end of the last chapter because I wanted you guys to keep reading. Lol!_

_Inspiration: Marijuana. Kidding. I'm actually on acid when I write these. xD (Again, kidding.) Same as last time._

--

So, uh... where were we...?

Oh, right. Nearly everyone in the Organization was at each other's throats: Marluxia; for everyone bashing him, Xigbar; for everyone trying to steal his boyfriend, Demyx; because he knew Larxene was going to kill him whenever she got the chance, Larxene; for being extremely embarrassed and almost killed, Xemnas; for being too drunk to even remember why he wanted to turn some Nobodies into Dusks, Saix; because he wasn't getting any... the list went on...

Only Axel, Roxas, Lexaeus, and Zexion were sitting contentedly in their seats, waiting for the next contestant in the World that Never Was Idol.

"This has GOT to stop..." the Silent Hero muttered to his emo-esque friend.

And then Axel got a bright idea! Everyone, of course, knows that Axel's bright ideas lead to bad things happening. I'm sorry, but after making so many AMVs and watching the clips over and over again, the author couldn't resist the most obvious joke for the first hour of Kingdom Hearts II, and she apologizes in advance if she inadvertantly blinds someone or gives them nightmares.

That said, Axel walked to the stage and flipped through the songbook, looking for a song that was more soothing, so that everyone could calm down until someone decided to be a flaming moron again.

His emerald eyes grew wide in surprise and glee as he found the perfect song. It was a ballad, one he would sing for his wonderful Roxas, one that would hopefully bring tears to the eyes of the rest of the Organization (or just Demyx).

As the soothing, light music began to pour out of the sound system, everyone settled down a little, and listened. They were tense, and if the song wasn't just right, they were going to go back to arguing, like wild dogs. Or, um, rabid bunnies on crack. Whatever image you prefer.

_"Maybe it's intuition,  
But some things you just don't question..."_ he sang, soulfully and sweetly.

About half of the Organization was impressed. Finally, a mature song!

_"Like in your eyes:  
I see my future in an instant and there it goes,  
I think I've found my best friend,"_ he continued, his emerald gaze meeting the touched sapphires of Roxas. Roxas felt like melting onto the floor and becoming a puddle of boy-love.

How the Hell did Axel know Savage Garden was his favorite band?

_"I know that it might sound more than a little crazy, but I believe.._."

As expected, Demyx's blue-green eyes were filling with tears as Axel sang his love song to Roxas. To him, it was pure and beautiful and romantic... Demyx was such a sap.

_"I knew I loved you before I met you.  
I think I dreamed you into life.  
I knew I loved you before I met you.  
I have been waiting all my life..."_

But Zexion was not impressed. He was actually befuzzled! Although the melody was soft and sweet, the lyrics were almost disturbing.

Before Axel could begin the next verse, he spoke out, "Excuse me for interrupting, Number VIII... but I think that is called stalking."

Lexaeus snorted at the Cloaked Schemer's observation.

"What?" the Flurry of Dancing Flames asked through clenched teeth, annoyed that his performance, his declaration of love to Roxas through the fine art that was music, and the wonderful muse that was Savage Garden, ruined by the quietest of Nobodies.

"How can you love someone before you meet them?" Zexion continued, one arm folding over his chest, one hand tapping at his chin. "Unless you have some sort of obsession, and you mistake that for love... I don't think it's really possible..." he finished.

No one could deny that. And Zexion had just ruined the greatest ballad of the year 1999. (1)

Axel's expression went from 'Oh, no, you DIDN'T!' to 'It's on now!'. "You wanna see stalking, you emo bitch?" he asked.

"Langwish!" Xemnas screamed. He wasn't slurring that time, he actually thought that was how the word was pronounced.

"ROLL THE NEXT FUCKING SONG!" the redhead roared. As if it actually heard him, the Karaoke machine skipped forward to a harder, more metal song.

The room suddenly seemed dark and cold and creepy, even though it was white and the palest of periwinkles.

_"Every day gets worse,  
Locked in a vice my thoughts perverse.  
You must wonder why I look at you that way..."_ he wailed, and in the background, someone eerily chorused the last two words. _'That way!'_

Demyx shivered, and Xigbar held him tight.

_"Tonight I'll make my way into your house.  
I must; I'm lusting for your body,  
Skin looks tight, think I just might have  
To take a bite."_

Marluxia finished up his Text Message, and both he and Vexen disappeared. No one paid them any heed; everyone else was frozen solid in sheer fright.

'Well, that's ironic,' Xaldin thought.

Except Xemnas. He was drunkenly trying to pull down Saix's pants, just for a giggle.

_"But, I know one will turn  
To three or four or more, my little who--"_ The last two letters of the word were cut off by Demyx's scream.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS CREEPY STALKER-RAPIST METAL!" he sobbed. His poor, pop/alternative-rock loving ears just couldn't stand it.

_"Tonight, tonight he's not alone!"_ Axel sang.

_"Can you taste the wicked in the room?"_ the creepy background voice asked.

_"Bobbysoxer, so pure, so young...  
By morning, his soul will be gone, gone,"_ Axel bellowed into the microphone.

The Karaoke machine was suddenly struck by a fancy keyblade with a lot of pretty colors on it, sizzling, skipping, and finally dying out.

Demyx looked like he could kiss the Key of Destiny. (We all know that neither Xigbar nor Axel would permit this.)

"You know, that's really a shame... I was going to sing next..." Lexaeus intoned, standing up.

No one really cared that the machine was broken. They didn't WANT to hear Number V sing.

"Hn. It might have been a duet..." Zexion muttered.

And suddenly, someone shouted, "SOMEBODY GET ANOTHER KARAOKE MACHINE, NOW!" because everyone was intrigued by the thought of what Zexion could sing.

--

**OMG, short chapter. Sorrry... I apologize again if Axel disturbed you too much.**

**(1) This is not an opinoin. It's a fact. xD Savage Garden ROCKS.**

**Axel: -continues singing as if Demyx's screaming wasn't a cue to stop.-_ "I did a beautiful thing... Relax baby... that's a good uke..."_**

**Demyx: -sobs uncontrollably.- Whyyyy did I join the Organization?**

**Xigbar: Um, because, without you, their would be no dorks?**

**Riku: Sora's a dork.**

**Roxas: No, Sora is an idiot.**

**Xigbar: Um, dude, Sora is... you... sorta...**

**Good night!**


	4. 13 Bottles of Elixir on the Wall

_A/N: Rai - You are SO welcome._

_Chaxra - Hehe, sorry. I checked your profile after I posted the chapter, and yes, you ARE INDEED a girl. -too lazy to go back and edit the last chapter.-_

_Alright, alright..._

_Songs used in Chapter 3:  
Savage Garden : I Knew I Loved You  
From First to Last : ...And We All Have a Hell._

_Songs used in Chapter 4:  
Jeffree Star : Eyelash Curlers and Butcher Knives_

FFTL IS THE SHIT!!!! Seriously, if you're into metal that's a little lighter and the lyrics are seriously twisted, check out '...And We All Have a Hell' and 'Ride the Wings of Pestilence' by them. 'One Armed Boxer vs The Flying Guillotine' is pretty sweet, too.

Alright, alright... here we go...

**Kingdom Karaoke**

**aka**

**"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone"**

**Chapter 4 - 13 Bottles of Elixir on the Wall.**

_Pairings: Guess what?! OMG, SAME AS LAST TIME. Only, no more DemVex. If you like DemVex, I have two oneshots up, because I was feeling DemVex-y._

_Disclaimer: Waaaaah. I have a kitten named Kadaj? Does that count for anything? (No, I seriously do. My kitten's name is Kadaj Mephistopheles Strife-Leonheart, because I'm lame like that. He's gray and white with blue-green eyes.)_

_Warning: Er... if you're still reading this... I LOVE YOU. You dun need any warnings._

_Inspirations: -throws confetti everywhere.- MY REVIEWS! THEY KEEP ME GOING!_

OMGEE-SUS! THIS THING HAS SIX ALERTS!!! So, special thanks to...

Chaxra-san  
RaiPhoenix015  
GameM  
MoonCry  
My Chemical Romance Dude (YEAAAAAH! MCR RULES)  
Sakura Shoizu  
And also LuthienSky, who has reviewed my VexDem stories, is a HUGE VexDem fan, and has the BEST VexDem video on YouTube. CHECK IT OUT. If you like VexDem, that is.

Okay, now the chapter can start.

--

As soon as someone had screamed, "SOMEBODY GET ANOTHER KARAOKE MACHINE! NOW!" one appeared. Yes, appeared: just like Organization XIII members do out of that swirling darkness thingy. Forevermore, this karaoke machine would be called Karaoke Machine XIII or the Karaoke Machine that Never Was.

No one knew who screamed, though. Everyone figured it was Marluxia, but Marluxia was on the other side of the castle doing naughty things in Vexen's lab that other people write fanfiction about because this author is too OCD to write about naughty things in science labs.

Maybe it was... um... Larxene? Yes, it was Larxene, because she wanted to record Zexion and Lexaeus, the only two who were not drunk or just being retarded, singing karaoke.

"Alright, alright, everyone... settle down..." Axel said, standing and waving his hands at the eager throng. "Zexion and Lexaeus can sing next... but... I get to choose the song."

Zexion frowned. "Why?" he asked.

"Because, you ruined my song and made me scare Dem and Rox. That's why, got it memorized?" the Flurry of Dancing Flames quipped.

The Cloaked Schemer rolled his eyes, but figured fair was fair. Axel went to the stage and flipped through the songbook, looking for the perfect song that would humilate his hateful superiors.

It took him five minutes, which, for an anxious crowd of people who really, really want to see someone sing because they know something hilarious is going to happen, is FOREVER.

Twice, someone shouted, "HURRY IT UP, ALREADY!" (Much like the author's little sister when said author is trying to type up her fanfiction on the computer. Okay, okay, I'll stop now!)

Axel poked a few buttons on the Karaoke Machine that Never Was, just to make sure it worked, and beckoned numbers V and VI up to the stage.

"Yeah! Go Zexy and Lexy!" Demyx hooted.

Marluxia and Vexen, half dressed and covered in sweat (and probably something else, but no one wanted to know!), portal'd back into the room.

"We HAVE to see this!" Marluxia explained, taking a seat, and pulling Vexen into his lap.

"Gah! Number XI!" he protested.

"Shut up," the Graceful Assassin commanded, and Vexen complained no more.

The music, which was techno with a heavy beat.

The background voice kicked in. _"Star... I'm a fucking star..."_

Zexion's eye widened.

_"I got my hair fixed, makeup done, I'm ready to go.  
Step in the club and you know I'm the show.  
Diamonds in my teeth are always a' glow.  
Blinded as I speak, mesmerized by my flow..."_ Zexion sang lamely, frozen and a little bit angry.

Behind him, Lexaeus mumbled the words, his lumberjack frame shaking in fright.

"COME ON! YOU CAN SING BETTER THAN THAT, ZEXY!" Demyx encouraged.

_"You can't say no.  
Sooo lettts go..."_ Zexion sang, feeling a bit better because no one was laughing at him.

Yet.

_"L-let's g-go..."_ Lexaeus echoed shakily.

"Spit on the dance floor to know where you are.  
Slip to the beat 'cuz you wanna go far." Now he was getting into it. The Melodious Nocturne had stood up, feeling the need to dance, and the Flurry of Dancing Flames and the Graceful Assassin had joined him. Dude, they just wanted to dance. (1)

_"Know you loooove..  
An I looove "that I'm Jeffree Star"..."_ the background voice sang.

_"Spit on the dance floor to know where you are.  
Slip to the beat drivin' in my pink car..."_

Now they laughed. Loudly, and not in the 'we're laughing with you!' way, because everyone knows that it BULLSHIT. They were laughing in the 'Haha! Zexion likes pink!' way... then they stopped.

How the hell would Zexion get a car?

Number VI dropped the microphone and shuffled off stage, dragging the Silent Hero by the sleeve. Lexaeus's teeth were chattering, and he was near tears.

"I hate Axel..." he whimpered.

Then the Karaoke Machine that Never Was portal'd out.

"Well, that sucks," Roxas said. "I didn't even get to sing."

"You didn't even want to sing," the redhead said.

"So, what?" the blond retorted. "No one even asked me if I wanted to sing."

The emerald eyed nobody pondered that for a moment. "So, if someone had asked you to sing, you would have?" he asked.

"No!" the blue-eyed boy replied. "But, it would have been nice if someone offered..."

"Did you feel left out?" Demyx asked as he strolled up to them. Everyone was slowly filing out of the Recreational Room of Eternal Proscrastination.

Roxas shook his head. "Nope. I'm perfectly fine with being the only one who was not humiliated and didn't humiliate anyone else tonight. I also wasn't almost killed," he said proudly.

"Shrimp..." Larxene muttered from some distance away.

"Actually, neither was Luxord," Demyx corrected, but Roxas knew that the Gambler of Fate was going to do some singing real soon.

In fact, the last song that anyone in the Castle that Never Was heard was a rousing chorus of '13 Bottles of Elixir on the Wall,' sung by the first three members of the Organization, plus VII and X.

Theeee Ennnnnnd!

--

(**1) "Dude, I Just Wanna Dance" is copyrighted to Dane Cook. Yaaay! Dane Cook!**

**Alright, let's give it up for the wonderfully talented Organization XIII!**

**Zexion, Lexaeus, Larxene, and Saix: I HATE YOU.**

**Aww, why, Saix-chan? You can finally get some!**

**Saix: Because... um... you suck. -scurries away.-**

**Yaaay. I think I managed to cram all of my favorite pairings into one crack fic.**

**Roxas: Except for Zemyx. And XigLux. And DemyMaru. And MarZex. And, Roxas/Demyx. -shameless Demyx whoring.-**

**-grumbles.- Well, I can't always get what I want!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed!**


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